Saturday, January 31
Wednesday, January 28
honestly now...
chicken broccoli fettucine
cranberry coconut cookies
For the next batch, I want to try to substitute some of the sugar with molasses (I'd LOVE to try agave nectar if I can get my hands on it around here, but I have no idea where I could by THAT in Yakima), add some powdered milk for extra protein, maybe decrease the wheat and add some All Bran for extra fiber, and use some applesauce to replace some of the butter.
If you have any other healthy substitutions you'd make, let me know!
Monday, January 26
substance
I'm not sure if my unemployed brain still knows how to be substantial, but I told him I'd give it my best shot. So this is for you D.T.S. (BTW - hope you're feeling much improved today and your French kids bring you a polished apple from Yakima!)
Well, here I am again. It's 2:00am and I still can't fall asleep at a decent hour...for the umpteenth night in a row. I do enjoy this time best of all, though. It's so quiet. Everyone is asleep, including my rambunctious kitties.
What do I do at all hours of the morning? I listen to myself think, while tapping my toes to my favorite country songs and fiddling with my many art projects I start but don't finish (that's another post - some are so secret I can't mention them on here yet.......S.M.!).
What do I think about? All kinds of things. Lately it's been pondering my move. Playing through all the different psychosocioeconomic impacts the experience has had on my life and others. Pondering "did I make the right decision to move down there? am I making the right decision to move back here, as opposed to staying down there or moving somewhere else? what's the best decision?" Each question seems to bring up 10 more questions all their own, with 10 additional off-shoots, and before I know it I'm 100 steps down a mental path I can't even remember how I started. I've had to set aside my artsy stuff in favour of journaling lately, just to try to keep my thoughts straight.
If nothing else, it's helpful that this move - to wherever I end up - feels like definite closure to at least one chapter in my book. I love closure. Especially clean-cut closure. So that's a really good feeling right now. But I'm realizing after having been Home for a while that there were a couple chapters back before SoCal that I had thought I'd left open. I guess somehow I thought I could just jump back in and wrap them up once I came back Home - whenever that would be - knowing I wouldn't be gone forever and always. It's a very odd sensation to come back and realize some chapters do, in fact, close themselves, though - whether I pen a seemingly satisfactory ending or not.
Life moves on, with or without. I knew this, of course. We all do. We've all experienced it one way or another. But it's the finding of my place again (even among longtime dear friends in a town I grew up in, yet sometimes don't recognize anymore) that's been a big challenge for me...yet again. So much of life is a sine wave, and I left while we were all at a high point, with part of me secretly hoping I could always come Home and scamper back up that mountain we were all on a year ago and life would be the same amazing high it once was: familiar, comfortable, stable, known, and full of adventure and living with gusto. I want it back! All those memories and the friendships that grew despite distance - they gave me sanity for a year in California! I built dreams in the face of time around these things.
[Don't roll your eyes. Yes, so what...I'm a hopeless sentimental idealist. Everybody needs one in their life. lol]
But coming back I see time has moved forward, as it always does. All prior chapters are closed, whether I like it or not. And this new one? Well, it begins in a valley…not on a mountain. Some folks have left the scene, some will be leaving soon, some have returned, and some - thankfully - are still around in all the familiar places. The old life is there in some form, I suppose. But it's definitely not the same life I pictured coming home to.
Having been through a few valleys before, though, I've learned the value of walking through them hand-in-hand with those dearest to you. When the waves turn again - as they ALWAYS do - the mountain tops are that much sweeter for the experience of having gone through it together. I'm so thankful to be near so many of my dear ones again, especially after being away for so long.
At the heart of all this, though - this, trying to find my place again - has been a surprising set of nagging questions I thought I had figured out answers to years ago: what's the purpose of my life? what do I feel most accomplished doing? why am I under these stars? what am I MADE for?
So, why not blog about my soul I guess. After all, the goal of this post is to provide you with the latest of my substance, right?
I feel as though I've had all the things, dreams, and people I've built my life around torn away from me, one by one, this past year...and what's left of me and my life feels very exposed and utterly raw right now. To summarize… All my favorite, precious, and to some degree necessary objects (my bed, sofa, cooking equipment, clothes, just to name a few) have been in storage. I slept on the floor for a year without so much as chairs for company to sit on or a TV to watch – sacrificing for the day I was promised I would get called to the next big thing in Texas. But that all went sideways with the economy. My health tanked. I’ve managed to not catch a bug for a month now, which is a record for me since August. My back still kills me most days and I’m the curviest I’ve ever been in my life (which is kinda fun for the cleavage - as long as I’m being honest – but good heavens I want to fit my old clothes again and feel healthier). My plans for my future seem to be vaporizing like rain off a SoCal sidewalk the more time passes. I pictured being married with kids by now, but somehow it seems my biological clock has stopped ticking...or slowed so much I can barely tell it's still there. And guy prospects?? Let me know if you know of any interested in an unemployed gal. lol But seriously - not necessarily a good time to date if I'm asking the questions I'm re-asking myself. So, my last honest intake survey of my life? Yeah, it wasn’t great. I think you get the picture, so we really don’t need to go into more detail there…at least not here.
Which all brings me back to what we’re talking about anyway: a new chapter. Valleys are valleys because there are mountains. And mountains wouldn’t be mountains without the valleys. I’m reserving major decisions about all these things until I start feeling the earth climb under me a bit. The chapter has only just begun anyway. Who knows how the rest of it will read at this point…let alone the rest of the book.
Until then – and to answer your question from earlier D.T.S. - I’m doing alright. Sleepless in Yakima, but doing fine, all things considered. Your prayers are always welcome. :)
"Life Ain't Always Beautiful"
Gary Allen
Life ain’t always beautiful
Sometimes it's just plain hard
Life can knock you down, it can break your heart
Life ain’t always beautiful
You think you're on your way
And it's just a dead end road at the end of the day
But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has its own way of takin’ it's sweet time
No, life ain’t always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life ain’t always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
Life ain’t always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin’ all these lonely miles
And I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream, but life don’t work that way
But the struggles make me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of takin’ it's sweet time
No, life ain’t always beautiful
But I know I'll be fine
Hey, life ain’t always beautiful
But it's a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride
calling all trekkies!
Beem me up, Scotty!
Saturday, January 24
homecoming
Thursday, January 22
a nice surprise
Wednesday, January 21
counting hairs...
(click picture to enlarge)
Inauguration at the United States Capitol, Washington D.C., January 20, 2009.
Satellite image courtesy of GeoEye.
Every time I see a satellite image of us, I'm struck by how tiny we really are in the grand scheme of things...all of us people under the stars...and yet:
"Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God.
But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows."
-Luke 12:6-7
Tuesday, January 20
mmmmm...chocolate!!!
Saturday, January 17
cat litter canundrum: help me pick a new favorite!!
So even they don't leave me a 100% happy housecleaner or kitty mom.
Thursday, January 15
new favorite: toothpaste & mouthwash
But for the past two years I have been on the search for a toothpaste that doesn't leave my mouth full of 'stringy' white pieces. (If you've ever had this happen, you know exactly what I'm talking about!) My dentist says it's caused by the tartar control agents in the toothpaste making the skin slough off (ewww!) and to use toothpaste that contains less of those tartar ingredients.
So I've gone through several different varieties, in search of the perfect toothpaste. Everything from Colgate to Sensodyne to natural/organic kinds from places like Mother's Market and Whole Foods, all in a vain attempt to find something that doesn't give me such a gross mouth! Of everything I've tried (up until last night), my favorite's been Nature's Gate Creme de Anise:
But I would still get 'the stringies.' :(
BUT! after trying a sample from my latest trip to the dentist, I'm hooked on a different brand: Biotene!!
I used it for the first time last night, and not only are all the stringies completely gone, but I woke up WITHOUT morning breath!! (And here I thought morning breath was a given in life?!?!)
I found the full sizes at Target, so I'm sure most any place (Walgreens, CVS, Bartell's, etc.) would carry it.
Seems the product contains enzymes, in place of the usual tartar ingredients, that get rid of the SOURCE of tartar: bad bacteria. Also, the mouthwash doesn't contain any alcohol (an ingredient which has now been linked to oral cancer). It is so much more tolerable to gargle than Listerene or Scope...not to mention seems to do SUCH a better job and leaves my mouth feeling clean and fresh!!
I give Biotene five stars on the first night. I'll keep you posted after a solid week!
Tuesday, January 13
Saturday, January 10
something else to make you smile
something to make you smile
Thursday, January 8
good news for all us bubble-butts!!
Throughout time and across genres, I think singers have long known something our general MODERN culture seems reticent to appreciate and accept.
For instance: K.C. and the Sunshine Band sang about it in "(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty;" Sir Mixalot let everyone know his preference in "Baby Got Back (I Like Big Butts);" Trace Adkin's marveled about it in "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk;" and even the infamous S.M. masterfully created an epic Cottage-night favorite with an ode to his "Callipygian" mystery girl!
And of course it can't go without mentioning a very beautiful gal, whose iconic figure drives the paparazzi & photogs wild - J.Lo:
So now, the latest in research has this to say about the topic…
Having a Big Derriere May Be Good for Your Health, Study Finds
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
foxnews.com
news.com.au
Women can stop worrying about pear-shaped figures — fat bottoms have been scientifically proven to be a sign of good health.
New research, published in the journal Cell Metabolism, suggests the fat responsible for producing the pear shape flaunted by celebrities such as Jennifer Lopez and Beyonce may be active in protecting women from diseases by releasing certain hormones.
Buttock and hip fat may protect women against type 2 diabetes, researchers from Harvard Medical School found.
When buttocks and hip fat from mice was injected into other mice, their bodies easily used the blood sugar-regulating hormone insulin and lost weight.
They were also able to make better use of insulin, the main hormone linked to diabetes.
People with the apple shape, where fat is stored around the tummy, can be more prone to type 2 diabetes and heart disease. Those with pear-shaped bodies, where fat is collected in the buttocks, are less likely to have these disorders.
Researcher Dr. Ronald Kahn insisted that not all fat was bad for health.
"The surprising thing was that it wasn't where the fat was located, it was the kind of fat that was the most important variable," he said.
"Even more surprising, it wasn't that abdominal fat was exerting negative effects, but that subcutaneous fat was producing a good effect.
I think it's an important result because not only does it say that not all fat is bad, but I think it points to a special aspect of fat where we need to do more research."
Scientists also monitored the health of the mice given the fat transplants. When it was inserted into the tummy area, the mice lost weight and their fat cells shrank. The researchers will now try to identify the hormones.
Tuesday, January 6
something I wish I'd know about sooner...
(Thanks Mark!)
Thursday, January 1
henri cartier-bresson
I've been on an a real art-kick these days. It feels so good to have time (& energy!) to exercise my right brain! I miss the days when I would check out a free museum pass from SPU's SUB, ride the bus downtown Seattle and watch all the 'different' people of the bus culture, and end up at the SAM...transported through time as I walked through the various exhibits. I miss getting into the Seattle Symphony for $10 on student discount, getting the best seats in the house, and being utterly moved by the music...feeling almost completely absorbed by it.